Friday, December 21, 2007

Pondering Christmas

I was hoping to get some more Christmas crafts posted but life has a way of getting in the way of blogging. My mother has cancer and is not doing well. Yesterday we made palliative care arrangements and it has left me crushed. The chemo is knocking the stuffing out of her. It's her fear that is the worst part of all this. She is confident in her faith but she's not ready to go. We bought this house just this past summer with wonderful plans for some great adventure. Now it seems she will not be a part of that adventure and it no longer seems that important.
Just last month, I had to say goodbye to my most beautiful dog of almost 13 years, Beulah. We were eating homemade cookies and after she scored a bite of mine she turned to my husband for a share of his. Before he was done, she was in a grand mal seizure. The doctors tried to stablize her but 34 hours later, we had to say goodbye. There was no way the doctors could bring her back to her former self. It was the right decision but I can't stop crying. Our other dog, Brady is moping and looking for his best friend. That just adds to my sadness.

Above is Beulah looking beautiful and to the right is her upside down on the couch. That was her favourite position. Below to the right is Brady waiting to fetch something, , , anything, , , please? No, he's not morphed. He really looks like that.

One thing I am finding in the midst of all this upheaval is that Christmas has very little to do with presents, glitter and feasting. Those are holiday festivities. Fun things we have created to give a festive air to a much more important message. The birth of Christ was supposed to be the birth of peace on earth and goodwill towards all men.

I'm sure next year I will be more into the festive side of the holidays but this year I am more focused on the deeper meaning of Christmas. After all, what gift could even begin to compare with the precious time I have left with my mother, the happiness given to me by my dog of almost thirteen years and the joy my remaining dog faithfully offers to me or seeing/hearing from my kids?

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas or joyous celebration of whatever path you follow. Remember to take a moment and look past the gifts and into the eyes of our loved ones, both two legged and four. I wish you might find the kind of love that was born to us over 2000 years ago.


Endako Jo said...

Farewell to Beulah. She was a beautiful girl. My dog Xena loves to lay upside down, too, and give that adorable smile. I like your sentiments about Christmas. Mine was tough, having lost my Mom this past year and your thoughts helped me feel a bit better. I found your blog by looking at one I know, then following links from there. Never know where I'll end up, but am always looking for inspiration for crocheting. (I live in northern British Columbia Canada).

Anne said...

Thanks so much Jo-Ann. I checked out Xena and she's a beauty. Dogs have ways of digging such deep holes in our hearts.
First Christmas without a parent is tough one. Sounds like your mom was a big part of your life.