Painful Goodbye

Happy New Year everyone. I would have posted before this but on the second day of January, my mother passed away. It really wasn't expected. She was undergoing chemo with great hope. She did get a lung infection but that was clearing up nicely. However, part the the cure for the infection caused her to go into renal failure. She died at Wednesday evening after being taken to the hospital in an ambulance. I didn't get there in time to be with her and I am crushed. As we talked many times of our parting, I know her greatest wish for me would be to let her go. I will attempt to respect that wish as I try to pick up the piece of my life which is feeling very empty without her. She joins my father and my brother. I have no other siblings so I'm feeling very lonely at the moment. My husband of course is awesome. And my youngest adult son is spending a lot of time with me. My eldest son is across the country so we have to settle for telephone hugs.

I am fortunate to have two aunts and an uncle as well as my late aunt's husband to lean on as well. They are great but I can't help wish I had another sibling to call to share this terrible grief. The above picture was taken less than two months before her passing.

So here sit in the beautiful old century home that was to be my mother and my latest scheme and project, wondering how I will ever pull this off without her.